Crucial Conversations are those that have varying opinions, high stakes, and strong emotions. In my organization, there are plenty of instances where these tough conversations are needed. Not to mention, my innovation plan, where I am trying to implement ePortfolios into my classroom and grade level have also presented the need for these conversations. In order to hold a crucial conversation, there are some key factors that need to be in play first. 

 Get Unstuck

      Initially, we need to get unstuck, everyone needs to provide their input. This is so important. It is one thing for me to implement my innovation plan into my own classroom, but if I expect anyone on my team or campus to also participate, their ideas and concerns need to be heard. Creating an open space for dialogue whether negative or positive is so vital to the success of these conversations.

 Start With the Heart 

     Next I need to make my intentions and desires clear by starting with the heart, my heart. If my ideas or wants are muddled and cloudy, how can I expect anyone to be on board? By starting with myself and making sure I know what I want without deviating from it, then I can truly listen and not just hear what others are saying.

 Learning to Look

     The next two points I think are extremely critical to have a productive conversation, learn to look and make it safe. Learning to look means observing the signs when a conversation has turned from safe to unsafe. If someone feels they are unsafe, they may keep silent and won't put forth their ideas. They may feel as though they can't be heard or their ideas aren't valid and in turn will just keep their mouths shut or retort with sarcasm. If they aren't staying silent they may turn violent. However, not the kind of violence one might think. When someone in this situation turns violent, they may try to control or force someone to see their point of view. 

Making it Safe

     After learning about silence and violence, I became aware of situations in our workplace that would be deemed unsafe. We need to make safe to talk about anything and everything. How do we do that? Well for example, when it comes to my team, we don't always agree, why would we, we aren't all the same person, but we come back together after a split in conversation. In order to bring the conversation back to the desired goal we need to take a step back and be objective about it. We need to remember that we are working toward a mutual purpose or goal, then we need to remember the respect we have for one another. We may not always like each other but to create a safe environment we need to keep our goal and respect in check.

Master My Stories

     Next, we need to master our stories. This is extremely hard for me. Mastering your stories is all about the control your emotions have over you in certain situations. Like with starting with the heart and making it safe, we need to be aware of the purpose for which we are doing this and be clear about it. Letting our emotions take too much control can produce an unhealthy, unsafe environment. I struggle with letting my emotions get the best of me especially in high stakes situations. I need to focus on the facts and get in touch with my emotions, but not let them rule the situations.

State My Path and Explore Other's Paths

     Now it's time to share my opinion and have this crucial conversation right? Wrong. Just because I know what I want to say, doesn't mean I should just open my mouth and say it. I need to be wise when it comes to the words I use. I have to learn that in order to state my path or the thoughts I want to share it needs to be done in a safe and respectful manner. The book mentions a formula to help guide you. Share your facts, tell your story, ask for others' paths, talk tentatively, and encourage testing. This could go back to making everyone feel safe to share. We want to share what we have on our hearts and they should feel comfortable to do the same. If people feel comfortable, they will be willing to share their thoughts and perspectives.

Move to Action

     Now, how do we move this crucial conversation to action? When reading about moving to action, I noticed something. This step reminds me of meeting norms. In every one of our meetings we have a set of norms that we follow in order to best serve the meeting and to get thing done. This could be anything from staying on task to discussions, to voting. We create clear and concise expectations that we must follow to hold a productive meeting. Not to mention, everyone has a job, such as, timekeeper, note taker, supplier, mediator, these expectations and jobs help to provide a smooth meeting that leads to great results.

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References:

     Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2011). Crucial Conversations Tools for            Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition (2nd ed.). n/a, n/a: McGraw-Hill Education.

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